The holiday season’s biggest musical event has arrived: Spotify Wrapped Day. And, well, it’s been a tough year for music lovers everywhere.
This year has brought about war in Europe, a Covid-riddled Winter Olympics, monkeypox, a new SF District Attorney, a (still painfully ongoing) midterm election cycle and, to top it all off, a World Cup. We’re exhausted trying to think of it all.
Turns out, 2022’s upheavals have disrupted many people’s music listening habits—and it shows in this year’s Spotify Wrapped results. Every year the music streaming giant releases personalized data about users’ top streamed songs, artists and genres. Though designed to give users a fun glimpse into their "music listening personality," it’s morphed into a new kind of cringefest for music lovers, many of whom share their results on social media.
Just take this intrepid reporter, for example. Beyonce’s new album had me wrapped around her finger, clocking in as my second-most-listened-to artist. But Spotify also informed me that I spent over 2,000 minutes—roughly the length of 16 feature films—listening to camp icon and certified sweaty-old-rocker Meatloaf’s discography. The music app cheerfully reported that I was truly an “indie softboi” at heart, content to listen to music that makes me feel “vulnerable,” “dramatic” and “bittersweet”.
Didn’t know I was signing up for a therapy session alongside my Spotify subscription.
Maybe brace yourself before you open your Wrapped—your listening patterns may tell you (and your followers) a bit too much about your year.
Maybe 2022 Just Made You Depressed
Many Spotify users took to Twitter to bemoan their depressing Wrapped results, and what it would say about their mood this year. Some worried that anxious spells from earlier months would ruin their listening patterns—others just knew that their daily dose of Heavy Rain Sleepy ASMR Sounds would skew their “Most Listened To” lists.
it’s almost that special time of year <3 #SpotifyWrapped pic.twitter.com/WL5rZSc0om— ★ yas ★ (@yasminesummanx) November 28, 2022
before spotify wrapped comes out, y’all gotta realize that i went through approximately 20 personality changes and am not responsible for whatever song i looped for seven hours— this barbie is a smol problem (@smolproblem) November 16, 2022
Your Music Might Tell You You’re Gay
Be careful if you listened to hours of FLETCHER, Phoebe Bridgers, Lady Gaga or Sam Smith—you may have just outed yourself to your followers.
my Spotify wrapped: pic.twitter.com/6XXmTKCoAe— Marc (@MarcSnetiker) November 28, 2022
I already know what my Spotify Wrapped is going to look like pic.twitter.com/KK0AGy4I8S— basura (@gayandold) November 29, 2022
You Might Be a Lil Basic, And That’s OK
Listening to Harry Styles, Olivia Rodrigo or Doja Cat won’t get you any hipster points either; these artists dominated the “Top Tracks of 2022 USA” and millions of users’ Wrapped everywhere.
And San Franciscans who made it to Outside Lands in August will be happy to see artists from this year’s lineup crack Spotify’s Best Hit Songs of 2022: SZA, Jack Harlow, Post Malone and Oliver Tree, just to name a few.
Blondie Pop Artist Stays Winning
Taylor Nation helped Ms. Swift claim all top 10 spots on the Billboard Hot 100—and most Spotify Swifties prepped for Taylor to top their charts. The pop star released her highly-anticipated 12th album, Midnights, this year.
Pretending to be shocked when I open my Spotify Wrapped and see my top artist pic.twitter.com/v4W5vAKEIt— erin @ the eras tour (@swiftbunnies) November 29, 2022
Y’ALL MY SPOTIFY WRAPPED CAME pic.twitter.com/u246e7Q2PO— matt - eras tour 5/21 & 5/27🥲 (@taylors_scarf) November 29, 2022
Sucks to Suck, Apple
If you’re an Apple Music user, you’re out of luck. Apple Music’s “Wrapped” equivalent was widely panned by critics and users alike. Better luck next time, fruit app.
apple music users sharing their ‘replay’ when spotify wrapped is out pic.twitter.com/heyaaQzKqV— mariano 🦦 (@oscos) November 30, 2022
Liz Lindqwister can be reached at [email protected]