The mother of an adopted San Francisco drain has posted flyers around her neighborhood seeking a “drain daddy” to co-parent with.
As storms pounded the Bay Area, San Franciscans adopted storm drains to relieve the city of flooding and have a little fun while they were at it—with silly names like “Lana Del Drain.”
Miss Drizzle, whose real name is Camille Matonis, thought the idea of taking in drains through the San Francisco Public Utilities Commission’s Adopt-a-Drain program was cute and clever.
She soon entertained the idea, bantering with a friend about whether she needed a “drain daddy” to co-parent with.
So last week, under the Miss Drizzle moniker, she posted flyers around Duboce Triangle titled “Seeking Drain Co-Parent.” Ideal co-parenting qualities listed include: willing to get dirty, living in the area, good rake skills and has a “pro-rain, anti-flood affiliation.”
“The terminology of adoption leads naturally to think about it as a child,” Matonis told The Standard. “It would be a responsibility better shared. It’s a really good opportunity to put on our boots and actually help out—and not just mope about how San Francisco can’t handle a little rain.”
Only in San Francisco pic.twitter.com/NuVUqXyZC3— Robert Fruchtman (@_fruchtose) January 19, 2023
Responses have trickled in, including a hefty application from a “robust drain daddy” who sent a portfolio of his adopted drains mapped on the Strava app. They went back and forth with puns about the rain, like “my inbox is flooded with applications” and “dripping with qualifications.”
"‘I was about to go into a pun drought,’” the potential drain daddy told Matonis after she said they could talk normally. “This guy went above and beyond for sure," she said.
It started as a joke but Matonis tells The Standard she is 100% serious about the desired traits for her drain partner, including “attractive and not boring.” She wanted to see where it led, either to a friendship or potential romantic relationship. She officially adopted her drain Thursday and named it Bb Drizz.
“There is a need for people to find more creative ways to meet new friends or potential romantic partners,” Matonis said. “It’s a really cool way to build community and meet local people that are like-minded. Maybe dating apps aren’t the answer.”
Time will tell if flyers looking for a drain daddy are.
Ida Mojadad can be reached at [email protected]