Tens of thousands of people convened on Dolores Park Sunday for the annual “Easter in the Park” celebration led by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, a troupe of irreverent drag nuns founded in San Francisco on Easter Sunday 1979.
Virtually every inch of grass in the park’s northern half was occupied by blankets by mid-afternoon, as the Easter Bonnet competition gave way to the Foxy Mary pageant and the main act: the Hunky Jesus contest.
“What Jesus are you?” Sister Roma asked a clutch of six mostly shirtless competitors, shepherding them to the stage for a twirl before the crowds. Because the contest has exploded in popularity over the last decade or so, any would-be messiah now has to create a fairly elaborate look or backstory. Among this year’s finalists were Trailer Trash Jesus, Disco Ball Jesus and “Break Jesus”—who breaks water into wine while breakdancing.
Break Jesus had the moves, but in a nod to the enormous popularity of last year’s “Barbie” movie, the eventual winner was Ken Jesus, who was attached to a fake cross inside a lifesize pink doll box. It brought him victory, but it wasn’t easy to navigate through a crowd. He had to shimmy sideways, guided by friends in front and behind. And he wasn’t so much celebrating his win as doubling down on it by entering another contest at a well-known queer bar in the city’s SoMa neighborhood.
“I’m going to the Powerhouse!” Ken Jesus said, sidling out of the park and onto 18th Street like a boxed and crucified crustacean. “I’m on a roll.”