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Politics & Policy

Hilarious, nonpartisan tweets to keep you from screaming on Election Day

Feline voter fraud is not widely regarded as a problem in most advanced democracies. | Nick Veronin for The Standard

Election Day can be stressful—especially when it’s the fourth one in a calendar year. If you’re freaking out about the fate of a 244-year-old democracy or just really invested in yet another ballot measure regarding dialysis, you might want a nice diversion.

There’s no need to plunge your whole face in ice water for 30 seconds, people, because Twitter has you covered. Here are seven hilarious, nonpartisan tweets we hope may keep you from screaming into the void.

Not everyone gets to vote in a columbarium, after all.

They will be tried as juveniles.

A sitting San Francisco supervisor weighs in.

Land of the Free, Home of the Whopper.

And they say the best lack all conviction while the worst are full of passionate intensity!

Even Mayor Quimby from The Simpsons couldn’t weather such a scandal.

Less remorse than the driver of a Subaru with a Nader/LaDuke sticker.

Astrid Kane can be reached at astrid@sfstandard.com