At a recent orgy at a home in the East Bay, DJ J. Maximilian had to politely ask an amorous group to stop using his gear for support. Their activity was shaking his equipment. “They were so focused on each other that they didn’t realize,” he said. 

It wasn’t the first time. The sex parties he DJs — held in mansions, Airbnbs, speakeasies, and warehouses all over the Bay Area — rarely come with a proper booth. “Sometimes they give you a folding table or a coffee table. Or you grab a couple chairs to put stuff on.” He often has to remind people “not to use the DJ table for adult-play activities that require stabilization.” 

Maximilian, who also plays more mainstream gigs like Electroluxx at The Midway, has been a fixture on the sex-party DJ circuit since the 1990s. He said the Covid-era slump is officially over. “Sex culture,” he said, “is so back.”

We spoke with six DJs who are orgy veterans about how they keep a room full of naked strangers in sync. We also compiled the ultimate orgy playlist, based on their recommendations, below. You’re welcome.

Over the years, Maximilian has perfected his musical approach to setting the mood. He keeps things relatively slow, playing nothing over 120 BPM; avoids distracting vocals; and sticks to stripped-down, dark chords. Since dancing isn’t the point, he prefers to play “downtempo and chill.” 

That’s not everyone’s MO. DJ Fairplay, aka Danielle Cohen —  who regularly plays parties hosted by Bonobo Network, a members-only sex-positive community — loves to start out with dance music. “People will yell out that they love this song, right in the middle of effing,” she said. 

Cohen finds that at the beginning of an orgy, “people aren’t ready to dive in yet,” so she focuses on getting them into the rhythm. As the clothes come off, she shifts to a slower, sultrier vibe. Three to six DJs typically tag in over the course of the night at the orgies she works. 

Several times a year, she DJs at a regular 300-person East Bay orgy, keeping the music going while group sex, spanking, or an S&M dungeon dance party take place around her.

For DJ Retronym, a 36-year-old techie from Oakland, the goal is “to play the perfect track for the most number of people having erotic interactions.” To achieve this, he sticks mostly to down-tempo R&B and electronica. Anything by D’Angelo is a crowd-pleaser. “They look up and turn to the speakers — I see them get more energized with the person they’re with,” he said.

Orgy DJs have a range of approaches when it comes to voyeurism. Cohen tries “not to stare too much,” she said. “I look at my laptop.” But of course, she sees a lot anyway. “I’ve seen them respond to the music and then eff harder, faster, and become sweatier.”  

An Oakland native, Cohen entered the circuit in 2016 after attending a friend’s sex party where the music was so shockingly bad it killed the mood. “I told my friend, it’s not that hard — can I bleep to this? If the answer is no, don’t play it!” The friend challenged her to do better, and she stepped up. The rest is herstory. 

Other DJs like to look. And they say people at the parties like to look back. Retronym says people often make eye contact with him while they’re shagging: “It’s a very intimate experience.” 

Getting up close and personal with people at their most vulnerable is a privilege — and sorta sexy too, he added. Of course, orgy DJs have “some voyeuristic interest,” he said. He gets hit on a lot at these events. In fact, several DJs said, it’s not taboo for them to join the fun once they’re done with their set.

At orgies, it’s not just what music gets played that matters but the volume. The sound has to be immersive enough to lose yourself in, but not so loud that it overstimulates. 

“We have to have that balance where people can have important consent conversations and also be able to hear the music,” said Remy Jackalope, founder of Beyond Nexus, an experimental inclusive arts and sex community.

At kink-focused parties put on by Beyond the Rainbow Events, founder JessJess sometimes requests ambient soundscapes. “When we have a strong theme, the focus is on play and not the music,” she said. The soundtrack shouldn’t detract from naked Twister or the Twisted Nipple play bar, where participants choose their own nipple torture. 

One of the many things that makes DJing sex parties different from playing clubs is the audience response. “If we do a good job, there’s nobody on the dance floor,” said one member of the Bay Area DJ duo JK47, who prefer to answer all questions as a single entity. “Playing a sex party is a bit different to a party where people have their clothes on. … You don’t switch things up as often.” 

They like to play hip-hop, despite many of the lyrics not being play-party approved. “Hip-hop lyrics are pretty naughty, and if you’re in a club, people are like, yeah, but if it’s a sex club, that could be a little problematic,” they said.

JK47 play five or six events per year, ranging from intimate 10-person gatherings to weekend-long sexfests involving 400 people. When things really get going, they blast the volume.

“If you raise the noise floor loud enough, it gives people permission to be loud during sex in a way they can’t be when you live in a thin-walled apartment,” they said. “It’s cool to see people be, well, ‘I guess I can scream or consensually hit this person very hard.’”

The vibe can be surprisingly wholesome at times. “You’ll have two people getting head and just having a conversation like, ‘Oh, Cindy, how are you?’” JK47 report.

But the pleasantries don’t always last. They’ve seen people offer their bodies as tribute and get passed around the circle like a party favor. “At first, it’s edgy and crazy, and then after an hour you’re like, yeah, someone’s being fisted a couple feet away.” 

DJ Gemini Moon, aka Genevieve Mossey, a 32-year-old candlemaker and event organizer, is a relative newbie to the scene; she DJ’d her first sex party in 2024, which was also her first time at an orgy. She set up in the chill area, so she didn’t see too much action, “apart from folks being naked, and a flogging station,” she said. “That was very sexy.”

She opted for an “R&B sensual and sexy vibe,” sensing that her audience — mostly queer Gen Zs and millennials — were feeling it. The second sex party she played had more of a dancey vibe, so she leaned in with perreo reggaeton, a style of music associated with sensualness and grinding. 

With so many pheromones flying around, it’s not unusual for the DJs to get involved in the action. During a set at a private S&M dungeon, DJ Fairplay was so aroused by the kinky goings-on — whippings, floggings, power play — that once her set was done, she ended up in a puddle with three men who “were into me, and equally into each other,” she said.

“It was a freaky night.”