In 2002, broke UC Santa Cruz student Stuart Schuffman met a girl. It was his first summer in San Francisco and the 21-year-old was riding the 71 bus to his internship at production company Bill Graham Presents. After graduating, he moved to the city to pursue a relationship with her.
Both the bus line and the production company have since disappeared. The girl is long gone too. But Schuffman’s still here, and has spent the last 20-odd years running his eponymous blog, Broke-Ass Stuart (opens in new tab). In 2015, he ran for mayor (opens in new tab) and won nearly 10% of the vote. The Board of Supervisors will honor him by declaring Oct. 17 — the day he releases his book “The Worst of Broke-Ass Stuart: 20 Years of Love, Death & Dive Bars” — as “Broke-Ass Stuart Day.”
Despite those plaudits, he’s still broke — as of September, he claimed to have about $1,500 in his bank account. Although he travels frequently, he said he hasn’t had a proper vacation since 2013.
Is his poverty intentional? Not exactly. A friend of his, the comedian and labor organizer Nato Green, once said at a roast that he had never seen anyone try so hard to sell out and fail so spectacularly as Broke-Ass Stuart. It’s funny because it’s true. Schuffman said he’s constantly battling to keep his operation from going under.
“Every month is like, ‘Ah! Is this the month?’” he said. “But we’re still here.”
Schuffman — witty, charismatic, and well-connected — could presumably get a boring, stable, corporate comms job if he wanted one. But even after an adulthood of mild destitution and no fewer than 13 jobs in the city’s bars and restaurants, he’s still keeping the dream alive.
When he started blogging in the mid-aughts, he was one among many San Francisco blogs. There was Mission Mission, Uptown Almanac, Aggressive Panhandler, Hateration. But one by one, these blogs folded or transformed (Hateration became Hoodline (opens in new tab)). The Millennial hipster became an aesthetic, then a meme, then a relic. But nevertheless, Schuffman persisted.
The Standard lunched with Schuffman one afternoon on Market Street to find out how. We declined his request to dine at Zuni on the company’s dime.
Our conversation has been condensed and edited for clarity.
Can you list every bar and restaurant in San Francisco that you’ve worked at?
Oh, fuck. All right. I’m gonna exclude the restaurant I work in now because I don’t want people coming and bothering me.
When I first started Broke-Ass Stuart, I was working at [the chocolate shop] Z. Cioccolato in North Beach. Then I worked at Pasta Pomodoro. I did Cha Cha Cha in the Mission. Then I went to Ireland. Came back here. I worked at Woodhouse Fish Company. I worked at Dear Mom.
I worked at Badlands, which was a gay bar in the Castro. I was the only straight guy there. I was younger, better-looking, skinnier — this guy comes up to me one night and goes, “If you quit tonight, I’ll take you to Europe tomorrow.” I said, “You’re gonna be so disappointed when we get to Europe.”
Where was I? Thieves Tavern. The Complicated Love Life of Evelyn Lee, which then became Mission Hill Saloon. Then the Golden Gate Taproom for, like, six years. I worked at Monarch. Sugar Lounge. Then the pandemic happened, and I was bartending at Off the Grid in Fort Mason. And now I’m at the restaurant. In January, it will be three years.
The service industry is like the mafia. You try to get out, and they pull you back in.
Before it was a website, Broke-Ass Stuart was a zine. Why did you start it?
I wanted to go to Burning Man and needed to make some extra money. The zine got really popular and the SF Bay Guardian called it the best local zine. If I knew when I was 23 that I’d still be doing this when I was basically 45, I might have chosen a different name. It can be hard to get advertisers — if you’re the Ford Motor Company, you’re like, I don’t wanna be involved with anything called “broke” or “ass.”
When I launched it as an arts and culture website in 2008, it was myself and a few other writers. That’s one of the things I’m most proud of, is being able to platform people. In 2014, I gave my friend Shakina [Nayfack], who is now a well-known actor and writer in Hollywood, a column called “Dating While Trans.” Nobody, other than queer publications, was doing anything about trans folks.
You’re obviously a talented communicator. Why not just take a PR job or something?
I don’t know if I’d be good working for somebody else. Also, those jobs are gone when AI takes over. I’ll still be here.
I keep having minor successes that keep me going. I’m like a junkie. I’m stupid and stubborn. But none of it happens without people on Patreon, people who support us. We’ve been around so long, there are people who literally grew up reading Broke-Ass Stuart. We’re basically a legacy business — and a cultural artifact.
After 20 years, do you still have long-term goals for your business?
I’m always working on projects, throwing shit at the wall and hoping something sticks, hoping the next one blows up. All I wanna do is make shit. It would be cool to have another TV show. I’d love to do a John Oliver-style show. A funny, progressive show. Or another travel show.
It would also be awesome just to make enough money where I don’t have to stress. We do so well with the nothing that we have. I’ve never gotten a single fucking dollar from an investor. We’ve gotten grants here and there, which is amazing, but we don’t have a runway. If we did, it would be easier to think about how to grow, but we’re so busy treading water.
If a broke kid moves to San Francisco today—
He moves to Oakland.
Well, if he somehow moves to San Francisco, and asks you what to do this weekend, what do you tell him?
We’re in the San Francisco high holidays right now, between Burning Man and Halloween. Just close your eyes and walk down the street. You’ll find something amazing.
What if he’s a senior in college and he’s thinking of moving? Would you still recommend the city?
If you can afford it, do it. It’s hard. When I moved here, you could have a job at a café a few days a week and make art on the side. You still had to work hard, but I worked at a restaurant four times a week and was still able to afford my $700 rent.
How about you: Will you ever be too broke-ass to live here?
I can’t move even if I wanted to. What am I gonna do, start a Broke-Ass Stuart in Austin? It’s too late for that. My life is here. I love it here. Great weather, good people — the Bay Area is special. I live a good life here. I have rent control.
Broke-Ass Stuart’s book release party will be Friday, Oct. 17 at Kilowatt. Doors open at 7 p.m.