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This sexual wellness brand will pay San Franciscans to, um, pleasure themselves

Sexual wellness brand Lovehoney is recruiting professional sex-toy testers for its new "Orgasm Advisory Board." | Courtesy Lovehoney

San Francisco has long been a bastion of sexual freedom and self-expression—which is one reason why sexual wellness brand Lovehoney is coming to the City by the Bay to celebrate National Masturbation Month and recruit members for its new “Orgasm Advisory Board.” 

And guess what? It’s a paid gig. The 10-member body will test out and review sex toys, giving feedback on Lovehoney’s products with the opportunity to create social media content as desired. Each participant will receive $1,000 for a year of service to sex positivity and education. 

Other perks include a monthly pleasure package of sex toys (worth up to $250), a 20% affiliate discount code to share with lovers and friends, and the bragging rights of saying you’re a professional sex-toy tester. 

Those chosen for Lovehoney's "Orgasm Advisory Board" will receive a $1,000 stipend for one year of service and monthly sex-toy packages. | Courtesy Lovehoney

Anyone 18 or older can apply, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation, and the company says the opportunity is not only for seasoned sexperts. 

“We are looking for a diverse group of sex-toy testers across all experience levels, from the sex-toy collector to the pleasure product novice and everyone in between,” said Sarah Tomchesson, Lovehoney’s resident sexual wellness adviser. 

As part of its nationwide recruitment effort, Lovehoney will rove around the Castro and Haight-Ashbury neighborhoods on May 13 and 14, educating people about the benefits of masturbation and taking applications for the advisory board. But be sure to keep your excitement in your pants. 

Keep an eye out for recruiters for Lovehoney's "Orgasm Advisory Board" as they rove the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood on May 13 and 14, educating people on the benefits of self-pleasure. | Astrid Kane/The Standard

“Attendees will not have the opportunity to pleasure themselves, but we will be giving products away throughout the day, while supplies last,” Tomchesson said. 

Ultimately the effort aims to celebrate self-love and solo sex. 

“While it might not be as well-known as other holidays, Masturbation May is a big deal in the sexual wellness industry! Despite all of the progress we’ve made, masturbation is unfortunately still quite stigmatized,” Tomchesson said. “We feel that everyone deserves a fun, fulfilling and healthy sex life, so why not hit the streets to help be that catalyst for change?”

So next time someone tells you to “go f— yourself,” you could have the ability to throw back the ultimate retort: “I do, and I get paid for it.”

Online applications open May 1.

Pleasure Pays 

🗓 May 13 & 14 
📍 The Castro | 1-5 p.m.
📍 Haight-Ashbury | 1-5 p.m.
🔗 lovehoney.org