Welcome to Swig City, where we point you toward don’t-miss cocktails at some of the best bars, restaurants and clubs in the city. Cheers!

Everything’s coming up Milhouse! A Simpsons-themed bar has quietly opened near Union Square, and it’s more than just a funhouse for Matt Groening superfans. With its meticulous attention to detail and litigation-tempting name, Moe’z Tavern is a spirit-forward cocktail bar where residents of San Francisco can mingle with residents of Springfield.  

Moe’z is the project of a team with experience bringing niche themed bars to life. It’s led by Brett Frost of Tenderloin dive The Summer Place, which was transformed last summer into a “Twin Peaks” pop-up, and Wizards & Wands, the Harry Potter-themed bar in the Marina. Around the block from The Summer Place, Moe’z took over the space that was Pacific Cocktail Haven before a 2020 fire ravaged the interior and spurred it to relocate a few doors down Sutter Street. 

As someone who’s getting a sixth Simpsons tattoo in a couple of weeks — Worker and Parasite, Eastern Europe’s favorite cat-and-mouse team — Moe’z soft opening  was a good enough reason to abandon my extended Dry January and have a few drinks on a Monday. As Mr. Burns would say, “Exxx-cellent!”

Moe’z is full of Instagrammable tchotchkes, including a replica of the Simpsons’ living room, complete with an orange couch, throw rug, and crooked sailboat painting. There are pics of Krusty the Klown, Disco Stu, and Mrs. Krabappel. A love tester machine and a Simpsons arcade game are forthcoming. 

You don’t have to know who Hank Scorpio and Guy Incognito are to have a good time. “We want elevated cocktails,” Frost said. “But we also want it as neighborhood-ish as possible.” 

The most important thing is that the drinks ($16-$17) are good. Of course, I had to start with a Flaming Moe, an ode to the purple cocktail that surly barkeep Moe Szyslak stole from Homer and served to the members of Aerosmith way back in Season 3. The recipe isn’t finalized, so the menu lists the ingredients merely as “booze, purple, flames.” Bartender Ventura Garcia — who has only one Simpsons tattoo, pfft — combined creme de cassis, sparkling wine, and lemon juice over ice, crowning it with an overproof-rum-soaked sugar cube he lit on fire. (Unlike the version in the show, the drink doesn’t contain children’s cough syrup. But it did have a faintly medicinal tang.)

At Moe’z Tavern, unlike at the original Moe’s, the more elaborate the drinks, the better. In particular, the “Mmmmm … Donuts” creatively captures the spirit of Homer’s favorite workday treat, with fat-washed rum, hazelnut orgeat, and a raspberry whipped cream float with sprinkles for extra pizzazz. It’s delicious, but would anybody drink more than one in a sitting? Probably not.

For any beer-swilling Homers out there, there are comparatively sessionable $10 pints of “Duft” — not Duff — on tap. It’s a pilsner from Oakland’s Original Pattern Brewing Co., and it’ll be switched out from time to time.

A rotating beer selection implies that, pop-up or not, Moe’z Tavern is meant to endure for more than a week or two, which is roughly as long as the “Twin Peaks” pop-up lasted. “Downtown desperately needs something like this,” Frost said, adding that he and his partners had also obtained another storefront two doors up, as well as the basement space that connects the two. “The timing was right.”

How long this lasts might not be up to them, though. Slight misspellings are cute, but are they enough to stave off cease-and-desist letters from Disney, which owns the Simpsons intellectual property? Frost is sanguine.

“We don’t need it to last forever,” he said. “It’s meant to be a pop-up. Let’s have fun with it while we can.” In the meantime, there’s plenty of Duft for everyone.