Valentine’s Day’s false cheer can really bum you out, so rather than supporting the Hallmark-industrial complex, why not see some barnyard animals walk the runway?
On Tuesday afternoon from 4-6 p.m., Goat My Valentine transforms Union Square into a Fashion Week-style gala with adorably voracious livestock styled by the august textile powerhouse Britex Fabrics. Created by San Francisco nonprofit Value Culture and with animals generously on loan from the goat-landscaping organization City Grazing, G.M.V. brings well-known figures like rapper Big Rich, artist Jeremy Fish, actor Jimmie Fails (The Last Black Man in San Francisco) and the San Francisco Fire Department together for some wild yet domesticated fun. Even better, there’s also a beer garden.
With their well-groomed goatees and excellent teeth, goats are born camera-ready. And if your species is also blessed with slit-shaped, horizontal pupils and you smize for the cameras, you are definitely giving face.
Goats play an important role in minimizing fire danger across the Bay Area. For example, BART deploys herds to eat grass along its rights-of-way so trains aren’t delayed by small brush fires during hot weather. And pretty much everybody loves them: The Ferry Building Farmers Market used to host a Goat Festival every spring that it called “Goatchella” until a certain litigious music festival in the desert sent a cease-and-desist.
Goat My Valentine is almost enough for you to break a date with a fellow human and go see the Greatest of All Time (G.O.A.T.) instead. No word on whether any of the models has adhered to a strict diet of a shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch and one tin can for dinner.
📍 Union Square
🗓️ Tuesday, Feb. 14 | 4-6 p.m.
🎟️ RSVP, donations encouraged
Astrid Kane can be reached at email@example.com