Pulled to the stage atop a giant fiberglass bison covered with disco mirrorball tiles and holding a rainbow Pride flag, “Cowboy Carter Jesus” delivered a brief barn-burner of a sermon and won this year’s Hunky Jesus competition by one of the most lopsided margins in memory.
Held every Easter in Dolores Park by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, San Francisco’s homegrown troupe of irreverent drag nuns, Hunky Jesus caps off an afternoon of satire and sacrilege that also includes a Foxy Mary contest and a more family-friendly Easter bonnet pageant. As Easter fell on 420, there were a noticeable number of cannabis enthusiasts among the pastel-clad crowds who covered nearly every inch of grass with blankets, plus a “420 Jesus” in the mix. (Motto: “Blazed be His name.”)
Cowboy Carter’s monumental effort was an ode to the cover of Beyoncé’s Grammy-winning 2024 country album, on which she holds an American flag atop a white horse named Reneigh. The competitor, local queer party promoter Wild West, took third place last year and wasn’t about to go down without a fight. “I realized, ‘OK, I have to step it up if I’m going to win this crown of thorns,’” he said immediately prior to Sunday’s contest.
West bought the bison for an unspecified price through Facebook Marketplace. The seller, a Fresno resident, had it in their front yard. To give it a glittering glow-up, West brought it to the Parade Guys, who build floats for San Francisco Pride, Lunar New Year, and other city parades. They put in an untold number of hours to bring his vision to life, he said.
The son of a Southern Baptist minister from rural Appalachia, West brought the crowd to its feet with a thunderous ovation, stating his intention to reclaim Christianity just as Beyoncé had reclaimed country music. “If we acted more like Christ would like and less like Christian nationalists, our country wouldn’t be as fucked up as it is!” he shouted into the mic.
This year’s theme was “No Easter without the T,” referring to the particular threats President Donald Trump’s executive orders pose to the transgender community. But the mood was as defiant and celebratory as ever. A number of pink, white, and blue trans flags were fastened to the stage with butterfly clips, and several Hunky Jesus contestants were trans-identified, including a “Punk Jesus” who unfurled a trans flag banner that read “We Will Rise” from his cross.
The afternoon was bigger in scope than in years past, as well. Emcees Sister Roma and Honey Mahogany were joined for the first time by drag king Alex U. Inn, and after “Dollar Store Mary” won the Foxy Mary contest, punk veterans Pansy Division performed a set. (Dollar Store Mary, whose costume cost practically nothing, beat out a heavily tattooed “Satanic Mary” and a “Foxy Mary Eat the Rich,” who wore a rat mask and threw fake dollar bills into the crowd.)
The two dozen or so aspirants to the Hunky Jesus title ranged from casual costumes like “DEI Jesus,” a manga-inspired ”Sailor Moon Jesus,” and “Jesus with the Good Hair” to more emphatic participants like a “Divine Baby Jesus” — who screamed in Spanish — and a “DOJE Jesus” who represented the “Department of Jesus Energy” and had Tesla’s T-shaped logo as a prop in lieu of a cross.
A “Wicked Jesus,” painted green like the character Elphaba from the “Wonderful Wizard of Oz” spinoff, came with two assistants who shot green glitter cannons into the crowd. There were both a “Bread Jesus” and a “Jesus Crust” whose entire cross was covered in challah loaves. Jesus Crust took third, while second place went to a scantily clad “Fuck Donald Trump Jesus” who vigorously mimed sexual intercourse with an unnervingly lifelike doll dressed in the president’s trademark suit and red tie.
Was he bitter about losing to Cowboy Carter?
“I was robbed!” he said. “It was rigged!”
