Chefs always say you eat with your eyes — but as the saying goes, looks can be deceiving. 

In the case of bagels, if you find yourself staring at a pudgy ring with a shiny, caramel-kissed exterior freckled with tiny blisters, you’re likely to assume you’re about to enjoy a very good New York-style specimen — the interior dense and chewy, with a feathery crumb and a slightly salty, nicely malty flavor. Often, you’d be correct.

But as we found out, a promising appearance can also belie a disappointing breakfast. 

So, to even the playing field in the quest to find San Francisco’s best bagel, we set up a blind tasting of some of the city’s most popular spots (brick-and-mortars only; sorry, pop-ups). We narrowed the field down to what we’d consider “third wave” bagels — the first wave being squishy, grocery store bread products that no New Yorker would even recognize, and the second being the kind of mass-produced baked goods you wouldn’t likely drive across town to acquire. The third wave are the artisanal bagels bringing some long overdue respect to the west coast.

Our methodology: Each member of The Standard’s three-person food team donned a blindfold (which, yes, we had delivered from a local fetish shop via Gopuff) and tried one plain and one everything bagel from each of five shops. We did not toast the competitors but tasted them first plain and then with whipped cream cheese, using classic Philadelphia. The panelists were not allowed to confer until all bagels had been sampled. Only then did we gather, argue, and rank the bagels from worst to best.

The results were surprising, to say the least. By removing the visual cues and compelling backstories, and by disregarding each maker’s thoughtful and idiosyncratic techniques and focusing solely on texture and flavor, almost all our bagel assumptions were upended. Bagels we thought we knew and loved fell short of expectations. 

We acknowledge that baking is a notoriously finicky art, subject to the whims of the weather — literally. But on this day at least, here’s how San Francisco’s best bagels stacked up. 

Three years ago, a one-time house of washers and dryers was reincarnated as this bagels-by-day, pizza-by-night hot spot, which stocks natural wines and hosts the occasional super fun dance party. Cheekily dubbed The Laundromat, the successor to the pop-up Holey Roller Bagels is a linchpin of Balboa Street’s renaissance. 

The review: A bagel must be more than a vehicle for a schmear! Considering all the hype, we were thoroughly underwhelmed. In particular, the seasoning mix on the everything bagel was limp. Overall, the texture was there, but the flavor was not. Something got lost in the wash here. 3725 Balboa St., Outer Richmond

James Lok, a former Benu sous-chef, and Zack Schwab, who has worked in New York City, launched Schlock’s as a pop-up in 2020. They opened their Fell Street shop in 2021 and will soon have a second on California Street.

The review: If ever a bagel has needed zhuzhing, it would be the plain bagel at Schlok’s, which, without cream cheese, tasted — well — plain, bordering on flat. A puffy specimen, it had a texture that leaned toward squishy. The everything bagel was really a “two thing” bagel — with just a dusting of poppy and sesame seeds on top (an intentional attempt to mimic New York’s famous Ess-a-Bagel) and only the rogue bit of toasted garlic and onion on the bottom. 1263 Fell St., NoPa

There is probably no more famous bagel-maker in the Bay Area than Emily Winston, a mechanical engineer turned baker who launched Boichik after being unable to find a solid, New York-style bagel in the Bay Area. In the years since, her boiled-and-baked beauties have been lauded near and far — including by The New York Times. 

The review: If you had to describe Boichik’s plain bagel in a single word, it’d be “sweet,” and though a good bagel should have a caramel, malty quality, we found the sweetness from the added brown sugar to be overpowering. The seasoning mix on the everything bagel — a blend of salt, sesame and poppy seeds, and dried onion — provided balance, but we would have preferred more of it. Texturally, both lacked a delicate exterior crust. 3665 Sacramento St., Presidio Heights, and 1946 Fillmore St., Pacific Heights

New York purists would never give the time of day to a naturally leavened sourdough bagel. But that’s exactly what Bones, which opened in June, makes. And owner and baker Noah Orloff is putting out an excellent piece of bread shaped into a ring.

The review: With a great chewy texture that takes a little muscle to rip apart, these babies have an open crumb with plenty of air pockets. The tangy plain bagel is baked on cornmeal, much like a pizza, and the everything has a gazillion poppy seeds and plenty of sesame, but sadly lacks garlic or onion — though it does have a kick from a few chili flakes. 741 Diamond St., Noe Valley

Well over a decade after Evan Bloom and Leo Beckerman founded Wise Sons, the local chain that helped propel the city’s bagel scene into the legitimate contender it is today is still going strong. We picked up ours from the flagship in the Mission (though a staff member says the shop’s bagels are not baked on-site), where the open-face bagel with smoked salmon, capers, and onions remains a highlight. 

The review: Upon eating one of Wise Sons’ bagels, the lone Long Island native on The Standard’s bagel-review squad was instantly transported to their youth. This was the sole entrant with a slight crackle on the crust, a beautiful contrast to the chewy dough within. Wise Sons’ bagels err on the small side — or should we say the hole is too large? — but the everything was densely crusted with toppings, and the plain was delicious even without cream cheese. 3150 24th St., Mission (with other locations)