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From ‘Based Benioff’ to penis Botox, The Standard’s top 10 tech stories of 2024 

The image features a man in a mustard sweater, a self-driving car, and abstract art with balloons and syringes on a colorful background with geometric shapes.
In the tech capital of the world, the industry and its personalities are perpetually leaving their mark in big, small, outrageous, and eccentric ways.  | Source: Photo illustration by The Standard

In the tech capital of the world, the industry and its personalities are perpetually leaving their mark in big, small, outrageous, and eccentric ways. 

Here at The Standard, we closely watch how tech shapes the culture of San Francisco. These are the 10 stories of 2024 that best captured the zeitgeist. 

Junk science: Why Bay Area men are using Botox to enlarge their penises

Balloon art of male genitals injected with Botox
There was a boom in penile enhancement procedures this year. | Source: AI art by Clark Miller

Botox isn’t just for crow’s feet and frown lines anymore: Dudes are payng up to $10,800 to inject their dongs as a way to increase girth. The method is part of the biohacker revolution led by longevity guru Bryan Johnson, who attests that the procedure can lengthen erections, as well as genitalia. 

Making the Ive Hive: Jony Ive’s bold plans to reshape a small slice of San Francisco

A man in a suit stands before a stylized, collage-like backdrop with architectural plans and city buildings.
Entities tied to Jony Ive have spent the last four years buying up real estate in Jackson Square. | Source: Illustration by Jesse Rogala/The Standard; photo by David M. Benett/Getty Images

Former Apple exec Jony Ive has been snapping up properties in Jackson Square, spending tens of millions to build a mini-empire that spans nearly an entire block. While his plans remain under wraps (although there are rumors it could be the homebase of the iPhone killer being designed by his team), locals are embracing optimism instead of suspicion and feeling grateful for the boosted property values. 

Tech CEOs are hot now, so workers are hiring $500-an-hour fashion consultants

Two people are in a room with a clothing rack full of various garments. They are engaged in conversation, with one gesturing towards the clothes and the other smiling.
Kimberly Gant, chief stylist at Canvas Styling. | Source: Estefany Gonzalez for The Standard

Silicon Valley has been getting a glow-up, with CEOs like Meta’s Mark Zuckerberg and Nvidia’s Jensen Huang looking (remarkably) cool. Executives and engineers alike are hiring stylists to help them ditch their startup-branded tees and Allbirds sneakers for something a bit more sophisticated. As one VC-turned-fashion-consultant put it, “Being handsome is just a skill issue. Anyone can do it.” 

Parents’ hush-hush back-to-school hack: Sending their kids off in a Waymo

The image shows several white autonomous vehicles equipped with sensors on a detailed 3D city map. The cars appear to be navigating different routes.
Parents are letting kids take Waymos alone. | Source: AI illustration by Clark Miller/The Standard

Busy moms and dads are booking robot chauffeurs for their children, Waymo’s rules against minors riding alone be damned. The time savings and safety features are worth possibly getting an account banned, parents told The Standard. 

Y Combinator’s Gen Z founders are coming back and learning to love San Francisco

A man stands in a modern office with natural light. He is near a desk cluttered with books and a computer. A whiteboard with notes is on the right wall.
One Chowdhury, cofounder and CEO of Octane AI. | Source: Morgan Ellis/The Standard

As AI momentum reaches a fever pitch, the city is once again a hot spot for young, ambitious techies trying to make it big. Garry Tan, chief executive of startup accelerator Y Combinator, has taken a leading role in spreading the “boom loop” narrative. 

SF’s biggest employer brings workers back downtown, and the neighbors are loving it

Sign "Salesforce Tower" above building entrance with people walking by.
Employees are returning to Salesforce Tower and other downtown corporate headquarters. | Source: RJ Mickelson/The Standard

While employees might begrudge companies’ stricter policies on returning to the office, baristas and restaurant owners are celebrating the increased cappuccino orders and return of the lunch rush. The renewed influx of downtown workers was “the best-case scenario for us,” one business owner said.  

Silicon Valley watch nerds are obsessed with Mark Zuckerberg’s crazy collection

The image shows a person wearing a Meta shirt with a large head, flexing arms adorned with several watches. The background is a blue abstract design.
Zuck has a newfound love of super-expensive watches. | Source: AI illustration by The Standard

Zuckerberg’s hypebeast influence doesn’t stop at gold chains: The CEO is driving a frenzy for fancy watches from niche brands. His multimillion-dollar collection has inspired both envy and imitation, with local watch dealers seeing increased sales. 

High atop Salesforce Tower, a secret club for geniuses from two shadowy VCs

Two men in suits stand confidently with arms crossed on a red carpet, in front of a tall, well-lit building at night, with a city skyline backdrop.
The founders of a super-secretive club on the 59th floor of Salesforce Tower. | Source: AI illustration by Kyle Victory for The Standard

Near the top of San Francisco’s tallest building, a secretive private club called the Institute fashions itself a hub for elites and intellectuals to opine on humanity’s greatest challenges. It’s the literal apex of two venture capitalists’ aim to gain clout in Silicon Valley. And no, you’re not invited. 

Private chefs for Silicon Valley’s elite spill the (precisely 70-degree) tea

A man in a mustard sweater and apron holds a leafy vegetable in a cozy kitchen with shelves of wine bottles and glasses around him.
Chef Robert Hernandez cooks for wealthy Silicon Valley residents. | Source: Jason Henry for The Standard

Keeping tech royalty happily fed is no easy task. Seven private chefs dished on the picky, ridiculous, or extravagant tastes of their clients, from drinking exactly one sip of each can of Coca-Cola to using fresh fruit as props around the mansion. “Being a great private chef is mind-reading,” one cook quipped. 

Based Benioff? Woke-ish Salesforce billionaire takes a right turn

A man and red hats flying inside a tornado.
Marc Benioff has joined a cadre of tech billionaires who are pragmatically navigating changing political winds. | Source: Photo illustration by The Standard / Getty Images

From benevolent, progressive billionaire to “un-woke” social conservative? Marc Benioff has taken a shift to the right since Donald Trump’s election, though whether it’s a true change of heart or canny opportunism remains to be seen.