The iPhone of a Standard reporter pinged Thursday morning: The Musk gods had spoken, and Zara Stone was off the Tesla Robotaxi waitlist.
Zara downloaded the Tesla Robotaxi app last month, after Elon Musk announced that he was launching a robotaxi service in the Bay Area. Without authorization from the California Public Utilities Commission to offer an autonomous cab service, Tesla rolled out its program with safety drivers in the front seat.
The Standard decided to spice up a foggy Friday morning with a Tesla-versus-Waymo road race from SoMa to Jackson Square. Think “Cannonball Run,” but with cautious robotaxis instead of gas-guzzling speed demons.
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To ensure fair competition, Zara and her colleague Rya Jetha ordered robotaxis at the same time: 9:15 a.m. The price difference was stark: Zara’s Tesla ride cost $5.80, while Rya reeled when her Waymo clocked in at $20.36. The Tesla picked up Zara directly in front of the office at 290 Division St., whereas Rya’s Waymo parked on a side street about 50 feet away. The office sits beneath the despised Division Street intersection of the Central Freeway, and Waymos usually avoid pulling up in front of the building.
At first, it looked like Zara’s Tesla, a breezy three minutes away, would leave Waymo in the dust. But the Tesla moved at a snail’s pace, while Waymo beat its estimated four-minute arrival time by two minutes. Rya’s Waymo had zoomed off before Zara’s bright-red Tesla even rolled up.
In the Waymo, which took a route down Van Ness, Rya jammed to Lady Gaga on Spotify without worrying about a safety driver judging her rendition of “Bad Romance.” She didn’t catch a glimpse of the Tesla in her wake but loudly encouraged the Waymo to go faster. Go, Waymo, go! she coaxed.
In the Tesla, an autopilot engineer with ornate arm and leg tattoos who declined to share his name sat behind the wheel as the vehicle moved autonomously. He wouldn’t disclose to Zara how many rides he’d overseen or if he’d ever had to take control of the car. The front passenger seat was off limits, meaning the Tesla could carry three people to Waymo’s four. The car refused to start until Zara’s seatbelt was clicked. In Elon’s world, it’s always safety first!
The screen in the back of the Tesla allows you to sync your Spotify, Apple Music, and Netflix accounts, among others — a broader selection of entertainment than Waymo, which launched a Spotify integration last month, perhaps after loud gripes from our news editor about the crap radio. However, despite trying to connect to Apple Music, Zara couldn’t get the jams to play. And so she sat in awkward silence with the safety driver as the Tesla took a route through SoMa, skirting the edge of Chinatown. It was giving serious Uber X vibes.
The biggest difference between Waymo and Tesla, apart from the fact that one has a safety driver, is the zone of operation. Tesla boasts a map that encompasses parts of Marin, the East Bay (yes, it can go on bridges), and all the way down to San Jose, and unlike Waymo, it hits the freeways. (One glitch: the day Zara got off the waitlist, she tried to book a car to take her across the Golden Gate Bridge. Despite the app showing it was in the coverage zone, she got a “serviced blocked” alert in the app. Bummer.) The Tesla service runs from 6 a.m. to midnight, short of Waymo’s 24-hour coverage.
At least for the moment, a big pro is Tesla’s low prices. They’re a fraction of Waymo’s, Uber’s, and Lyft’s, but this is likely an introductory offer that won’t last forever. Also, unlike Waymo, which has been known to host sexy shenanigans, it would feel wrong — illegal, even — to get freaky in front of a safety driver. No one has attempted anything yet, a scandalized safety driver told Zara. Drinking alcohol in the car is also a no-go, the driver said; if you pull out a White Claw, the ride is over.
Back in the Waymo, which had whipped off Van Ness onto Bush Street, Rya received a text message from Zara: “Seven mins away!” How could that be? The Waymo, too, was seven minutes from its Jackson Square destination. It was neck and neck.
In the end, the Waymo pulled up to Postscript on Jackson Street (the finish line!) four minutes before the Tesla, which had taken a diversion to avoid a construction zone near Columbus Street. Though Rya badly wanted to celebrate with her autonomous chauffeur, the unfeeling Waymo simply drove away to pick up its next passenger.
“Goodbye, Rya,” the robot chirped. “Goodbye, Waymo!” she cried with joy.
When the Tesla finally rocked up to Postscript, Zara frowned to see Rya already standing in front of the coffee shop. The Musk-bot had let her down!
“Nice to meet you!” Zara said to the safety driver as she scrambled out.
Upon exiting, she was asked to rate her ride out of five lightning bolts, and the app suggested she leave a tip: $1, $2, or other.
Five lightning bolts, Zara selected. Was the tip for the robot or the safety driver?
As robots don’t need money, and the driver is a Tesla engineer likely making somewhere between $200,000 and $315,000 per year, she skipped the tip.