There Were Two Killer Robot Cakes at City Hall’s Bake-Off

On Wednesday, City Hall hosted its annual Great Board of Supervisors Bake-Off, and your elected officials came to play. 

A trio of judges—Public Defender Mano Raju, San Francisco Chronicle journalist Nuala Bishari and chef Yvonne Hines of Bayview bakery Yvonne’s Southern Sweets—adjudicated the competition. Together, they determined which amateur baker should consider a career in confections once their boss is termed out and who merited a whack across the kneecaps with a spike-studded rolling pin. 

In truth, the Bake-Off was a friendly contest, but several City Hall officials and their staff members clearly came to work looking to win by a more comfortable margin than Joel Engardio. Treats included Natalie Gee’s “Taste of the Pacific Islands” pineapple cake and a baklava that was still warm, both of which tied for Best Tasting.

Supervisor Myrna Melgar was Best in Show with “Keep Calm and Calamansi On,” a triple-layer lime cake coated in pistachios and made with limes from her own backyard. The Standard’s source informed us that Melgar allegedly baked three test cakes in preparation.

Some desserts made use of nerdy wordplay that pertained to issues the Board of Supervisors faces. For instance, the baklava was actually LAFco senior policy analyst Khalid Samarrae's “Green Public Banklava,” a subtle nod toward the possible creation of a city-owned finance firm. Legislative aide Kelly Groth’s “Gerry-MANDARIN” cake alluded to this year’s prolonged redistricting process by way of a crowd-pleasing citrus, and took home Most Creative.

There were also not one but two robot cakes, an even more pointed reference to the board’s initial vote—later rescinded—to allow the San Francisco Police Department to deploy so-called killer robots. One even had music from the movie RoboCop playing in the background. Created by Mayor’s Liaison Tom Paulino, it won Most Visually Stunning.

No word on whether rejected supervisor candidate Leanna Louie was spotted outside the chamber, dejectedly holding up a Trader Joe’s cheesecake sourced from one of her four or five refrigerators and fogging up the windows.