When Peninsula middle-schooler Connor turned 13 in February, his bar mitzvah featured everything a basketball-obsessed teen could want: hoops as centerpieces, mocktails with names like Half Court Chiller, and custom party favors for his 200 guests. The tab for this celebration of Connor’s transition to adulthood? At least $250,000.
That’s the starting price for bashes thrown by Glow Events CEO Melanie Zelnick. To protect the privacy of Connor and his parents, she wouldn’t disclose their full names or reveal the exact budget for the festivities, but she spilled that her “mitzvah parties” start at a quarter million and reach to the multimillions. “We only onboard five to 10 a year,” she said. “We create a whole brand identity around the theme — almost like a corporate brand guideline.”
Like weddings, quinceañeras, or any big life celebrations, bar and bat mitzvahs can range from simple to extravagant affairs. The Jewish coming-of-age celebrations for 13-year-old boys and girls have long been occasions for opulence in affluent circles. As far back as 1961, Orthodox Rabbi Leonard Gewirtz condemned them as “an occasion to show off wealth.” Some families have been reported to refinance their homes to foot the bill, according to a 2024 research project from Hebrew Union College. But in the Bay Area — home to the world’s highest density of billionaires and roughly 285,000 millionaires — the celebrations have reached stratospheric levels.
“There’s no limit to what we do to entertain the kids today. It’s unbelievable,” said Colin Cowie, founder of Colin Cowie Lifestyle, who was responsible for DoorDash cofounder Andy Fang’s Vogue-worthy Italian villa wedding. Though known for his nuptial extravaganzas, Cowie is increasingly fielding requests to plan bar and bat mitzvahs. His services start at $500,000 and can climb north of $6 million. “Bar mitzvahs have become the ultimate playground for extravagance,” he said. “These are big, lavish events.”
The costs go toward the venue — Connor’s event was held at the private Peninsula Golf & Country Club in San Mateo — as well as decorations, entertainment, attire, food, and, most of all, swag.
“Swag is huge,” said Zelnick, and “hugely different.” In the 2000s, she explained, a mitzvah swag table might have offered a tote bag, some CDs, maybe friendship bracelets. That would be considered basic now. “We’re more elaborate, more custom. We turn swag into a moment,” she said. “It’s an immersive shopping experience, complete with display racks and branded bags.”
The loot is impressive. Cowie’s team often creates “gift emporium installations” that rival luxury boutiques. “Kids will go shopping at our Supreme store, or we might have 130 pairs of Nikes, each hand-painted live by an artist,” he said. “Some of these setups cost millions of dollars. There’s no limit to what we do to entertain them.”
To deal with all the party favors, Cowie often provides kids with school-style lockers to stash their loot while they dance. “They go home with piles of swag,” he said.
Take the Nike-themed bar mitzvah for a boy named Ethan thrown by Zelnick at Menlo Park’s Hotel Nia in May. Guests snagged custom Nike sneakers and personalized shoelaces printed with the Ethan’s name, and donned LED wristbands that pulsed in sync with the music.
At another mitzvah party Zelnick planned, teens and tweens flocked to a stand offering permanent jewelry, where artisans welded gold and silver bracelets onto their wrists (removable with pliers). “It’s a lasting keepsake that kids love and a big trend right now,” said Zelnick. She’s right. This fall, Catbird, a permanent jewelry brand based in New York City, opened its first SF outpost, and the Marina district has at least three stores that will bind jewelry to you.
Zelnick’s team trawls social media for swag-spiration. “We stay updated with what’s trending on TikTok to select the right swag,” said Cynthia West, director of events and head of creative at Glow Events. Right now, that means Lululemon, Nike slides, and Fjällräven backpacks. “A couple of years ago, it was all about Swell bottles. Now, everyone’s asking for Stanley tumblers.”
It’s not uncommon for parents to ask if there’s any extra swag they can snag, added Zelnick. “Some items are in such high demand that kids sprint to get them.”
The food is as over the top as the merch, Cowie says. Standout fare includes Nobu sushi, flown in fresh from New York, or an upscale Italian spread from luxury restaurateur Cipriani. “Kids are way more sophisticated today — they know what they like and don’t like,” he said. “We start planning when they’re 12 years old, and by the time they’re 13, they’re more savvy, more global.”
Tracy Hueth, founder of Los Angeles-based Fun 4 Events, provides experiential props and food for mitzvah parties as well as corporate clients like Salesforce and Amazon. She said her Bay Area clients are increasingly looking for “something they’ve never seen before.” For instance, edible sugar balloons, filled with helium, with licorice or LED handles. “It’s interactive and hilarious,” she said. “Kids get squeaky voices and burst out laughing.”
Hueth provided nitrogen ice cream to one mitzvah where the live entertainment for the night turned out to be Charlie Puth. Fees for the singer’s appearances are $750,000 to $1 million, according to Celebrity Talent, a corporate booking agency.
Along with the smoky excitement of freezing ice cream with liquid nitrogen, a favorite flashy dessert is “flying cotton candy,” for which sugar is spun dramatically at distances of six to 15 feet from the machine. Also having a moment: nitrogen popcorn (created by cooling popcorn with liquid nitrogen, which releases a puff of smoke with each bite), on-demand edible pancake art, espresso martinis for adults, and boba tea stands for kids. Sometimes kids really want their favorite food, Zelnick added; at one event she offered a stylized In-N-Out burger bar, and at another, she had a sushi bar, where chefs sliced sashimi on demand.
Hueth also specializes in tech-specific thrills, an obvious draw for the kids of Silicon Valley. One of her 2024 go-tos is the Sketchbot, a portable robot that draws caricatures in real time using AI. “It always draws a crowd at mitzvahs. People are amazed,” she said. Another favorite: A roving photo robot that takes dance-floor snaps. Nail-art robots were once part of her arsenal, but she retired them because they had to reboot nonstop.
Because everyone is angling for social media likes, custom outfits and choreographed entrances are big priorities. One bar mitzvah girl with whom Zelnick worked practiced for weeks with an Oakland-based dance troupe so she could make a Broadway-worthy entrance. A bar mitzvah boy entered surrounded by entertainers clad in robot suits and thumping LED drum kits.
Though many add-ons seem tailor-made to show off a family’s conspicuous wealth, party planners swear that parents just want the parties to reflect the uniqueness of their child. For one Coachella-loving kid, Zelnick created a festival-themed party at Menlo Circus Club in Menlo Park, complete with VIP tents, wristbands, and live music. For a kid obsessed with everything Japanese, she made an “immersive Tokyo” party.
Of course, many parents are clearly keen to wow friends and family. After all, “their kids are attending 10 to 20 [bar and bat mitzvah] parties a year,” said Zelnick. To stand out amid all that competition, you have to get creative.
