Love is in the air, as are the wafting scents of truffle and garlic, as couples count down the hours until their Valentine’s Day dinner plans. If you’re nervous — about whether you scored the right reservation or if your date will be duly dazzled by your charm — you’re not alone. The restaurateurs are stressed out too.
“To be blunt, when sex is involved, there is a nervousness,” said Ryan Cole, owner of romantic hot spots like Trestle, 7 Adams, and The Vault Steakhouse. “I think the general consensus about Valentine’s Day is that the expectation is so lofty it’s almost impossible to meet.”
Unlike the carefree, celebratory attitudes of Christmas or New Year’s, there’s a tenseness in the air when it comes to Valentine’s Day. Restaurants book out weeks or months ahead of time, raising the stakes and expectations on both sides of the counter. Diners worry about impressing their dates. Restaurateurs worry about adequate staffing. And everybody frets about too much garlic or not enough roses.
“In our industry, Valentine’s Day is a four-letter word,” said Anthony Strong, owner of Pasta Supply Co. “Couples are fighting, and diners hate it, because you’re supposed to feel sexy while eating a price-gouging prix fixe.”
The big question for restaurant owners is how hard to go on the love theme. Many go out of their way to craft special (often prix fixe) menus that include so-called aphrodisiacs, such as oysters, artichoke hearts, and figs, or “sexy” ingredients like lobster or strawberries. Staffers light candles, hire a band, break out the red linens, and arrange tabletop florals; after all, it’s the one day of the year when so many people’s chance of getting laid hinges on dinner.
“It’s stressful for us,” Cole said. “What if we overcook something? If we do something wrong, are we going to ruin your whole evening?”
There’s “extra pressure” to “make diners feel transformed,” according to Gayle Pirie, chef and co-owner at Foreign Cinema. Sure, that’s always the goal, but “there’s just an extra magnifying glass” on Valentine’s Day.
Foreign Cinema’s four-course holiday dinner includes carpaccio with Périgord truffles, fresh Dungeness crab, and prime rib at $175 a person. Multiple courses across so many two-tops means more prep, servers, and cleaning, prompting an all-hands-on-deck staffing strategy.
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“That’s extra dishwashers, pastry platers, runners, management,” Pirie said. “It takes a lot of humans to make everyone feel like a million bucks.”
Even though restaurants start receiving reservations far in advance (Foreign Cinema started booking for Valentine’s Day in mid-December), people may try to shift their plans at the last minute. The waiting list for a V-Day table at 7 Adams is 500 people, according to Cole.
“It’s craziness starting two weeks before — the phone is ringing nonstop,” said Thierry Clement, owner and chef at L’Ardoise Bistro.
His restaurant has become one of SF’s top first-date spots, and Clement is preparing for the holiday by buying more than 100 roses so his staff can gift one to each couple as they leave. Gauging the right number can be tricky: Clement has seen people make overlapping reservations, only to cancel all but their sweetheart’s top choice on the night of. To leave room for serendipity, L’Ardoise leaves its bar seating open for walk-ins.
Even if a restaurant is fully booked, it may not take in as much as it would on a typical busy night.
“Valentine’s Day is always booked out, but it’s less of a baller holiday,” said Paul Einbund, co-owner of The Morris and Sirene. Diners may rein it in because they’re concerned about their “performance” later, he added.
“People want to go home and have a little romance, so you don’t want to overstuff your belly,” he said. “You want to drink, but you don’t want to drink too much.”
Despite the stresses, a restaurant needs to make sure that everything runs as smoothly as possible. If a customer doesn’t like a dish, find a substitution. If a couple seems on edge, a cocktail suggestion might be in order. “We’re really focused on making sure that we can keep everybody in their romantic state of mind,” Einbund noted.
In an unromantic display of counter-programming, some restaurants buck tradition entirely. Pasta Supply Co, for example, is hosting a “goth prom” at which customers can shred pictures of their exes and eat black pasta.
Owner Strong almost cancelled Valentine’s Day dinner altogether, figuring that a counter-service spot wouldn’t get much business anyway, but decided that the alternative programming would be more fun. He commiserates with restaurants that bust out their fanciest menus and is glad not to be among them.
While SF’s beleaguered restaurants are grateful for the holiday business, most industry folks won’t go out themselves on such a crowded and expensive evening. Even if they’re not working a late shift, they know there are better nights to book a romantic evening for two.
As Fiorella cofounder Brandon Gillis put it: “I don’t think I’ve ever been out for Valentine’s Day. I know enough to go out the day before or the day after.”