We ate at all 27 restaurants at Stonestown — these are the mall’s best and worst

When the server set the quail on fire, Stonestown Galleria officially ceased to be just “some mall.”

Butterflied and briefly ablaze, that $13 plate of California’s state bird wasn’t even the hallmark of a meal at Le Soleil, Stonestown’s splashy new French-Vietnamese restaurant. That would be the pho risotto, a $28 portion of fall-off-the-bone ribs over congee.

And when it comes to elevated eating at “Stones,” as the teens call the mall, Le Soleil is hardly an anomaly. It’s next to the nigiri-covered conveyor belts at Kura Revolving Sushi Bar and across the corridor from Supreme Dumpling, which regularly commands a two-hour wait, and kitty-corner to build-your-own hot pot spot Tang Bar, crowning a veritable quadrant of top-notch dining in a shopping center that, yes, also houses a Uniqlo, a not-so-secret Labubu seller, and the upscale arcade Round 1.

Orange Julius this ain’t.

Other San Francisco malls are ailing, but Stonestown’s renaissance is in full flight, so the perennial question remains: Where should I eat? To answer it comprehensively and definitively, The Standard’s food team dined at every sit-down restaurant, fast-casual eatery, poke stand, and robot cafe. Then we sat down and argued over the quality of orange chicken and the joy derived from eating via conveyor belt before finally coming up with this list. 

Here, we present every restaurant at Stonestown, ranked from worst to first.

Blondie’s Pizza caters to the infinitesimally small number of folks nostalgic for a worse version of Sbarro. The slices are less pizza and more bready slabs that need multiple paper plates to carry because of their sheer weight. The positive is Blondie’s $12 lunch deal — quite affordable for a stoner on a budget, but still hard to justify when there’s a better version of the same dish just an escalator ride away. And we’re talking about a frozen pie from Whole Foods.  

On one hand, boba tea and a bucket of popcorn chicken sound like an ideal mall snack. On the other hand, you’re likely to be disappointed with the versions you’ll get at Quickly. Even a mango iced tea came out teeth-achingly sweet, while the chicken lacked any amount of crunch. At least there’s no evidence that this outpost is actually a front for an international car burgling operation. 

A mall with no Burger King or Dairy Queen leaves a huge opening for a beefy, American-style lunch spot. Unfortunately, these flavorless Philly cheesesteaks ain’t it. King fries ($6.99), loaded with cheese sauce, bacon, sour cream, and chives, are decadent enough, but anything else risks the goggly-eyed mascot Gritty bursting through a wall to shake some sense into you.

As casual fans of Onigilly’s FiDi outpost, we had high expectations for the mall location. Sadly, the onigiri (which all cost between $3 to $5) lacked structural integrity, falling apart almost immediately after being picked up. Lemony bay shrimp were unpleasantly cold in contrast to the warm rice, and the braised eel fared only slightly better. 

Just as beach vacationers can become insatiable zombies for saltwater taffy, mall-goers crave an oily Wetzel’s Pretzel with fake cheese sauce the instant they step inside. But the aroma is 90% of the pleasure.

Filipino-Mexican fusion has become less of a novelty and more of a regional obsession, thanks in large part to mini-chain Senor Sisig. Unfortunately, this mall kiosk doesn’t do the genre justice. Los Kuyas’ sisig tacos ($4), made with citrus-marinated pork belly, come on flaccid corn tortillas with a side of soupy beans and flavorless rice. Your best bet? An order of crunchy lumpia ($7).

Riding in a Waymo may be routine in these parts, but it’s still fun ordering a coffee or cold drink from a robot. However, Artly’s Barista Bot lacks finesse when it comes to drinks like a yuzu refresher with organic honey rose, with just a few floating bits of ice. (“Is this water?” was the question posed by an unwitting taster.) Not only will a drink set you back as much as $7, but you’re given the option to leave a tip. For whom, you ask? With further inspection, we found that there is indeed a real, live human — presumably the bot’s manager — lurking in the back.

Yes, it’s a chain — and part of the world’s largest coffee conglomerate. But Peet’s is a homegrown hero, having gotten its start just across the Bay in Berkeley. Relevantly, there are good, old-fashioned human baristas who will pull you a shot of espresso and steam your milk, making it undeniably the better of the two coffee options at the mall.

A homegrown sandwich shop turned multi-state chain, Ike’s has won plaudits for its generous fillings, garlicky “dirty sauce,” and varieties exclusive to each location. Another plus is the use of Dutch crunch, among the stronger sandwich breads out there. But Ike’s offerings, which cost about $15, have a strong tenancy toward, well, gloppiness. Which is to say, they’re often an oversauced mess. 

This Taiwanese bakery chain has been on an expansion tear for a decade, and not so long ago, it drew long lines of fans craving sea-salt coffee and stuffed buns. However, it has lost its luster. Why opt for an oily hot dog bun wrapped in plastic when San Francisco is home to a deep roster of top-notch Asian bakeries?

Poke has become common enough that to stand out, a shop needs either high-quality fish or offbeat add-ons. Here, there are neither. As its humdrum name suggests, Poke Bowl might be San Francisco’s blandest poke place, hiding its forgettability through overdressed hamachi — although we salute Spam as a protein option.

Sure, you can explore the extensive menu of mac and cheese, pizzas, and more than a dozen types of sandwiches. But let’s be honest: You’re here for the clam chowder and bread bowl ($9.89). And, we are pleased to report, it still hits. The soup is creamy, comforting, and — even in this economy — chock-full of clams. The bread may be a bit lacking, but there’s really no replacement for slurping up a meal, then eating the dish it came in.  

Blaze’s build-your-own pizzas might not be the best in the Bay Area. But they are, definitely, the best at the mall. Plus, at about $15 for all the toppings you can reasonably cram onto an 11-inch pie, they’re a pretty good deal. From experience, we recommend you let the pie cool before you dig in, lest the mountain of pepperoni, sausage, and vegetables slide off as soon as you pick up a slice.  

The lines at Panda Express are often the longest in the mall, and for good reason.  Sometimes all you want is orange chicken, chow mein, and a fortune cookie to crack open at the end of your meal. Panda may not be the most inspired Asian cuisine in what has become a foodie destination, but it introduced an entire generation of Americans to Chinese food. Sometimes you have to have the OG.  

Fancier than Taco Bell but not quite nice enough to be considered a proper restaurant, Chipotle sits at the exact middle of American fast-casual dining — and this list. It earns points for both consistency and flavor, despite being the kind of place you rarely (never?) go out of your way for. Say what you want about the chain, but the cilantro-lime rice, grilled chicken, and guac make for a quick and satisfying meal. 

Mochill’s endearing Q texture (a Taiwanese term that can be best captured in English by the word “bouncy”) is the best reason to stop here for a $17 box of six doughnuts in flavors like tiramisu and taro, along with staples like salted caramel. Alternately, go the waffle route, be it blueberry, matcha, or ube. We were less impressed with the soft serve, though. The Kuromitsu Kinako Milk flavor tasted suspiciously like Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup — then we saw the telltale bottle behind the counter.

It goes without saying, but if you don’t enjoy the slightly sweet, mildly bitter flavor of matcha, then move along. For everyone else, know that this is the best place in Stonestown to get a fix, whether in the form of a tea, latte, or frosty soft serve ($6.40) that comes in an excellent, freshly made waffle cone. There will be a line. It will move quickly. 

One of the pleasant surprises of the Stonestown food court is Nar Doner & Grill’s vertical spit, loaded with lamb and beef that can be freshly sliced for wraps and rice plates. Also on the menu — and not typical mall fare — is gözleme ($13), a stuffed Turkish flatbread, as well as grilled kofte ($17) and lamb chops ($19). The food, which is cooked fresh, takes a bit longer than most. But it’s well worth the wait.

Although it may be beige, khao mun gai — Thai chicken and rice — is anything but bland. Adorned with chile-ginger-garlic sauce and cucumber, Rooster & Rice’s $15.95 plate represents Stonestown’s best bang for the buck. One of five SF locations, it’s hardly reinventing the KMG wheel, but this is fast-casual at its finest. The $7.95 khao tom gai, an eggy congee flecked with crispy bits of chicken skin, is delicious as well.

Though the fluffy, light-as-air cheesecakes sold here feel like a new trend, Uncle Tetsu actually originated in 1985 in Hakata, Japan. They come in all sorts of flavors, including pandan coconut (which we wanted, but it wasn’t going to be out of the oven for 30 minutes, proving they are indeed baked fresh). In addition to Japanese styles, there is a lovely, larger Basque-style cheesecake, with the signature sunken burnt top and custardy center. Bring it home, add some summer fruit compote, and suddenly your mall food is next-level.  

If you’re not craving Asian food during your visit to the mall, then your best dining option is — yes, really — this international burger chain. Founder Danny Meyer is a restaurant legend for a reason, and the reason is that Shake Shack’s unfussy smashburgers ($10.49) and cheesy-covered crinkle fries ($5.99) are reliably delicious.  

Seven years after the splashy debut of Marugame Udon, the lines have subsided a bit. But it remains a well-oiled carbohydrate machine designed to deliver supple, hand-pulled noodles, which patrons can see being prepared as they walk in. Whether ramen-like tonkotsu in dashi or a sweeter, beefier nikutama, the broths at this cafeteria-style shop cover every flavor profile. Just try to make it through the irresistible tempura selection without picking up some gyoza, potato croquettes, or squid. They’re worth it, if only for dunking.

The line in front of Shihlin’s Stonestown outpost, one of nine, may appear long, but do not be deterred: It is for next-door neighbor Panda Express (and those people don’t know what they’re missing). Step right up to the self-serve kiosk and order a crispy, juicy, XXL fried chicken thigh, which — just like in Taipei — is showered in a slightly spicy-sweet five-spice powder and served in a bag with a couple of sticks for spearing. If you want an actual lunch, the homey but good Grandma-braised chicken rice with ground chicken, a soy egg, and tofu, is solid.

The giddy thrill of picking golden, crunchy rolls and yuzu tuna nigiri off a conveyor belt might be reason enough to visit this kooky, retro-futuristic sushi spot. (Robots that ferry drinks to the table are a bonus.) For a Rube Goldberg contraption, Kura’s concept is simple: Small plates containing salmon, unagi, and wagyu weave around the restaurant on a miniature luggage carousel, and diners pick whatever they want. Almost everything costs $4.10, and tables that order a certain number of dishes get little prizes. A separate menu of made-to-order items is also available — and we won’t spoil the fun by revealing how those arrive.

Aside from the aforementioned flaming quail, the most visually striking aspect of Le Soleil is an elegant dining room that feels exactly the opposite of a mall food court, at least when you face away from the shoppers craning to sneak a peek inside. This outpost of a longstanding Richmond restaurant takes the traditional Vietnamese fare offered by its sister and cranks up the gourmet, basting it with shoyu butter and bringing in the wagyu. The centerpiece of many tables is the curry Dungeness crab, its shell stacked on top of the bowl like a trophy for ordering well. The price? Well, it depends on the market, but a soon-to-launch cocktail program means you’re probably having too good a time to care.

You’ll know you’ve arrived at the corner of the mall where the month-old Supreme Dumpling hides when you find dozens of people milling around, scrolling on their phones while waiting for a table. The instantly mobbed restaurant could accurately be described as Din Tai Fung Lite and serves a short menu of impressively affordable dumplings, including several well-executed flavors of soup-filled xiao long bao. The Szechuan variation ($13) will leave your mouth tingling with mala spice. From start to finish, your meal will likely take less than an hour, even if you order gold-adorned custard buns for dessert — which you absolutely should. 

Newcomers Le Soleil and Supreme Dumpling may be hogging the limelight, but the unquestioned grandaddy of Stonestown dining is Tang Bar, a malatang (build-your-own hot pot) operation that just so happens to have a wooden communal table with a fish pond in the middle. Assembling lunch from this tempting, $16.99-per-pound array of beef cuts, seafood options, and vegetables is not without risk — we dropped more than $40 on what amounts to a single bowl of soup — but it is supremely delicious. Pro tip: Order the hot-and-sour broth, throw in cucumber slices, and enjoy some instant pickles.